Text a friend to check in, do someone a favor at work, buy a coffee for the person next in line, hold the door open for someone, pay someone a compliment - there is no kindness act too small. This goes for all days, but especially for days when you’re getting swallowed up by your own negative feelings. Step 4: Blast your stress with kindness The best way to feel better is to do something kind for someone else. You have all these bad thoughts and feelings swirling inside and the best way to tamper them is to shift your attention to positive ones. They can be really, really small, but the key is that they are specific - less “I’m happy I’m alive” and more “I am grateful that I can afford to buy really good coffee.” The magic of gratitude practice is that it literally shifts the chemistry of our brains and helps us feel more positive. Step 3: Positive prime with gratitude Write down three things you appreciate about your day. If you can avoid making huge decisions, having really critical meetings, or being in a situation where you have to do your absolute best, do it. I’m letting myself have a bad day.” Step 2: Adjust the day Look at what you have to get done during the day and if possible - and I realize it may not always be possible - adjust. Literally, say to yourself: “Today is a rough day. And then give yourself permission to have a bad day. Acknowledge that you’re having a rough day. Feel what you feel and allow yourself to feel what you feel. Step 1: Check in Pause and take a breath. So here it is, my Bad Day Survival Checklist: And in part, because I was having a really rough day and found myself sinking under the weight of the anxiety that seemed to have no end in sight. In part, because I was inspired by all the discussion after my talk. First I sent her a virtual hug.) And which is the first step in the Bad Day Survival Checklist that I came up with the following day. Which is the first thing I wrote to my friend when I replied to her text. But when we do, the first step to not feeling worse is to allow ourselves to feel whatever we feel and acknowledge that we feel it. They aren’t pleasant and we would rather not have them. Thing is, there isn’t some universal feelings authority that dictates how we should feel. So much frustration and unhappiness lives right in that space: the space between how things are and how we have imagined they should be. The worst thing to do - and I’ve been completely brilliant at doing this for most of my life - is to create a struggle between how we feel and how we think we should feel. I’ve been there and want to tell you guys that the first step to feeling better on a bad day is to acknowledge that you’re going to have a bad day.” It’s taken me a decade as an entrepreneur and four decades as a human being to learn this, but I’m certain about it: The first step to feeling better - happier, more at peace, less stressed - on a bad day is to accept that you’re having a bad day and allow yourself to have one. And bad days become a string of really awful days, weeks, and months. It’s this taboo thing to admit that we have bad days, that we feel sad, discouraged, confused, or just completely beat up by life.” There was a lot more nodding. “As entrepreneurs we think we have to be stoic heroes, always up, energized, ready to change the world. “We all have them, and while I’ve been an entrepreneur for a decade, only recently have I allowed myself to be honest about having a bad day - with myself and with others.” I paused, looked around, and saw a lot of understanding eyes and nodding heads. “I want to talk to you guys about bad days,” I said as soon as I got into my talk. (I’ll tell you what I wrote in a bit, promise.) Second, I changed my outline. As soon as I read it, I did two things: First, I replied to her. In a few minutes, I would do a talk titled: “How to keep your sanity as your build your company.” My friend’s text came in just as I was glancing over my outline. OK, a week.” This text from a friend popped up on my phone as I was sitting in a circle with about 40 other entrepreneurs. “What’s the advice when you just want to cry and/or sleep and don’t want to deal with people? And vacation or quitting your job is not an option.
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